Witty fb status

Quitting Facebook is the new adult version of running away from home. Witty fb status for the birthday wishes from everyone who noticed my name today in the upper right corner of your Facebook page. The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one. Except that Waldo is looking for a job, witty fb status, too.

Want to delight your social media friends? Borrow from this list of funny quotes and sayings for Facebook status, and enjoy some great laughs yourself! Yes, you can use these for Instagram posts and stories too. Social media platforms reward engagement with engagement. There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter, like watching TV and having a beer. I want to change my name to Nobody on Facebook.

Witty fb status

Submit a Status Message. Sort: Recent Oldest Rating. Search Messages:. Most Recent. You lose undercover haters. Real friends can never be lost. The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have now started asking humans to prove they are not a robot. We really missed the mark with that one. Could be cuddled up with a bear right about now, but whatever. I put wake up and drink coffee on mine. The ghosts from A Christmas Carol are the scariest, because they show you what people are saying about you behind your back. That must really suck.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I probably think this post is about me.

Discover over funny Facebook status messages that are sure to attract more comments on your profile. This collection not only includes hilarious status updates but also features amusing Facebook posts and quotes. It is nothing to worry about because there are various ways through which you can also compel them to like your Facebook status. You must have heard from your parents that they used humor as a tool to keep themselves different from anyone else and make the situation hilarious with funny jokes. These are some of the funny status quotes for Facebook that can impress you. These are funny FB posts you can post on your FB wall.

For all the Facebook users out there, we present the ultimate collection of Funny Facebook Status and captions. You can even use them as funny captions for your selfies and profile pictures. Also you will find some of the best and most humorous quotes, offering fresh and entertaining status ideas to elevate your Facebook profile. I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you. In modern politics, even the leader of the free world needs help from the sultan of Facebookistan. Delete me, Poke me, Like me, Limit me … The choice is yours … Welcome to Facebook, where no one is really your friend.

Witty fb status

Discover 45 hilarious Facebook status ideas for maximum laughs with these tips and tricks. Keep your friends entertained and engaged with these witty and funny status updates. Laugh out loud and boost your social media game! Many of the links in this article redirect to a specific reviewed product.

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A long time ago, I used to have a life until someone told me to create a Facebook account. We all know you do it for attention but you'll be back soon. That awkward moment when you wave to a stranger on Facebook by accident. Submit a Status Message. Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? Exercise can add more years to your life. Facebook suggested friends are the people I am trying to avoid intentionally. Then I found Pinterest. Eat without getting fat Smart phones, smart cars, smart televisions time to make smart people! I usually finish before they get a word in. Join in and write your own page like this! I have but only one writes.

Your day got just a little bit better. As much as Facebook can seem like a haystack of bad ideas, there are some needles of comic relief waiting to be found. Here are some funny Facebook status updates that will leave you searching for the Like button.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. A relationship should be between two people, not the whole world. Simply click here to start Funny Sayings. You have Facebook? You lose undercover haters. The internet is perfect because it satisfies my desire to be alone while still getting attention from people. I find television very educational. An excellent one knows the judge. Pranks Bored? The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have now started asking humans to prove they are not a robot.